I have seen the trend all over social media about parenting a certain way so our kids don’t have to heal from childhood. And I am here to tell you why that is BS!

1. It is impossible to know what will cause trauma

              Trauma is completely subjective! While there are physical markers in the brain and body that indicate trauma was experienced, we cannot know exactly how any given event will impact a person. Two people can witness the same car accident and one will carry that experience for the rest of their life and the other may forget it by the end of the month.

There are so many factors that affect our experience of trauma, including our mental and physical wellbeing, our personal experiences in life, the level of support we received, and so many other things.

The bottom line is, there is no way to know what will cause our children to need to “heal from their childhood” and trying to predict that will cause undue stress that will inevitably impact how you parent.

• We are imperfect

Our children need present parents, not perfect parents.

Read that as many times as you need to.

Aside from that statement, what is perfect anyway, and who gets to define it? That’s a soapbox for another day.

As humans, we are fundamentally imperfect, we carry our own traumas, emotions, opinions, etc. that make us unique. That uniqueness, being the best you that you can be, is exactly what your child needs. They need you to bring all of that experience and you-ness to the table and make decision based on that.

You are the best parent for your child BECAUSE you are you!!!

• We cannot control every aspect of our child’s life

Trying to control everything our children will experience will leave us anxious and will pass that anxiety along to our children. It is OK for our children to experience discomfort; negative emotions are a part of the human experience. You can show your child you love them and will always be there to help if they need you, AND let them have independence to experience all of the things.

If any of these seemed difficult to swallow, it may be time for us to chat!